How to Politely Remind Someone to Pay You: 13 Smart Ways to Tell

It can be difficult to get a friend or family member to pay you back if they owe you money.
This blog post will go over the best ways to politely remind them that they owe you money and how much it is!

Keep your request "short and sweet," says Kimberly Palmer, personal finance expert at NerdWallet, and mention it to them in the middle of a conversation.
"Oh, by the way, did you want to repay me for the money I let you borrow?" "I can accept Google Pay or cash."
"Hey, I hope we're still good on this loan of mine," you can say when they ask for more money. I understand that times are difficult right now, and I don't want to complicate matters."

Why is it so difficult to ask for money?
Many people are afraid to ask for money because they don't want to appear to be a burden; however, this is the quickest way to get them to pay you back!
Also, if this person is a friend or family member, it's always best to let them know politely that if they can't pay you back, that's fine; if they can't, maybe give them some time to get the money together.
When borrowing money from friends and family, ask for it quickly so that you can both maintain your friendship/relationship.
How to remind someone to pay you is a difficult question because you frequently lend money to friends and family, who will always have a different money dynamic, so it's important to approach the situation carefully.
"If this is a more casual friend, you can be more open about your expectations. For example, if it's $20, say something like, 'We agreed on $20, so I hope you have that much for me.' If it's more, you can still speak up, but tread more carefully "Palmer stated this.

If someone has just lost their job or something has happened in their life where they suddenly do not have the money they did before, they should wait a few weeks or months before asking for it back.
Understandably, you want your money back, but now is not the time to make someone feel bad about something in which you both participated.
The dumbest way is to be passive-aggressive about it and text them something mean because you believe that if you say what's wrong, they'll become defensive.
Subtly implying how much better their life will be without your assistance; or, when they begin to ask for more money, telling them harshly that you don't have any left.

It's best to be direct and polite about it: there's no need to bring up the past (unless there's an important reason), just remind them of what they owe. It's never easy to ask someone for money they owe.
Remember that your tone can set the mood, so make it warm and understanding rather than annoyed or frustrated! It may not work every time, but at least you tried!

1. The Kind Reminder

Sometimes people genuinely forget that they owe you money; not everyone is out to steal your money; in these cases, a simple reminder to the borrower can help you.
You want to make sure it's not a money problem on their end, so ask if they have any other problems or bills, or if they're just too busy for work with the baby on the way.
You must be able to gently remind someone to pay you; a gentle reminder can go a long way in these situations because you are not demanding payment; you are simply reminding them of what they owe.
Being patient and understanding your tone will set the tone for how they react is the polite way to remind someone to pay you.
Make sure it's warm, not frustrated or annoyed! It might not work every time, but you'll know you tried!
When reminding someone about a debt they owe you, be courteous and always use polite language (even if it's difficult to get them to pay). Simply ask if they remember their debt and when they can pay it back.
A good example is as follows: "Hey, do you remember the money I lent you last month? I was wondering when you would be able to make the payment."

2. Be clear about the terms from the start.

They are less likely to break their promise or forget about the agreement if they agree to your terms from the start.
This can include when you should be paid back, how much interest to charge, if any, and whether it's in a currency other than what you're used to.
If you don't discuss it right away, there's more room for them to mess up or try to change the terms.
You can add more conditions if necessary, such as offering an incentive, but make sure it's not too much, or they may feel pressured to accept the deal and then never pay you back. For example: "If you can get your debt paid off by next month, I'll give you $100."
Allow them to work out a repayment plan, and even offer flexible terms. For example, "If you can get your debt paid off by next month, I'll give you $100."

3. Request Assistance Politely

If you haven't heard from the person after several reminders, there could be another issue preventing him/her from repaying you, which could be very serious.
If the borrower has ignored or turned your reminders into a joke, charging interest, turning it around, or asking for flexible terms may yield no results.
In this case, politely ask a family member how to get your money back; they will be able to tell you the best way to proceed and what they did in a similar situation.
If you have previously sent reminders, politely requesting assistance is a great way to get your money back if they have ignored or turned your reminders into a joke.

4. Flip it Around

If they are making a big deal about owing you money, maybe it's time for them to pay you back instead of continuing in that cycle.
You want to make sure it's not a money problem on their end, so ask if they have any other problems or bills, or if they're just too busy for work with the baby on the way.
Turning it around can be more difficult because they are unlikely to take your request seriously, but consider how reliant they are on your money.
In these situations, a gentle reminder can go a long way because you are not demanding payment; you are simply reminding them of what they owe.
Being patient and understanding your tone will set the mood for how they react is the best way to politely remind someone you are owed money.
When a borrower makes a big deal about owing you money, turn it around because they probably don't take your request seriously.
Consider how reliant they are on your money, and perhaps they will be more inclined to repay it.

5. Deliver the News

Sometimes people just need to be honest about how they feel about their debt situation; they may not want to tell you that they can't afford it, but you can be the one to tell them.
You don't want to make them feel bad about not being able to pay their debt or wanting a different repayment plan in these situations; you just need to be honest and appropriate with your request.
It is one way to answer the question of how to remind someone to pay you back, and breaking the news is a great way to ask for help if the borrower has previously ignored or turned your reminders into a joke.

6. Avoid being overly dramatic.
You don't want to make false promises about money to get your debt paid back; they need time, which you can provide without making empty promises.
It is important to be patient and truthful with people, so it may take them a little longer, and you must politely request the money owed.
Don't be overly dramatic when reminding someone that you owe them money, as this can harm your relationship with them in the future.

7. Don't wait too long before they pay you back.

"Try to get the money back as soon as possible," Palmer recommends, "because the longer you wait to repay someone patient with your unpaid loan or past-due debt, the less likely they'll want to help."
Always be courteous and use polite language, such as "Hello, I lent you money last month and it was due on this date. Is it possible for you to repay me now? "
The time and tone of your message will reveal a lot about you, so make it friendly rather than frustrated or annoyed.
It may not always work, but at least you know you tried! Be patient with these people and try to establish some rapport before asking for your money back; after all, you want to maintain a good relationship with your client.
"Otherwise, the IOU can put a strain on the relationship, and friends or family may forget, making you feel more awkward to ask," consumer savings expert Andrea Woroch tells Bustle.
You should never feel bad about asking someone to repay you; it's money owed to you that you loaned out of goodwill that needs to be repaid.

8. Request an update on how the funds were spent.
"When someone borrows money from you, they usually tell you why; if not, ask them the next time you see each other." "This allows you to ask for money in a very passive manner and may prompt them to recall their debt.
Some people may become defensive, or they may begin to make excuses, such as being short on cash. If you know it's not a money issue, suggest ways for them to pay off the debt faster.
"Hey, how has school been going? I know you borrowed some money to help cover tuition," for example. If they owe you a lot of money, be clear about how much and what is owed.
You want to make sure this isn't a money problem on their end, so ask if they have any other problems or bills. Maybe they're just too preoccupied with the baby to work?
Being patient and understanding your tone will set the mood for how they react is the best way to politely remind someone you are owed money.
"I know we agreed to do this whenever it's convenient for you, but do you remember borrowing $500 from me?"

9. Allow them to pay for the next round.

If the debt is small, you can ask your friend to pay for your meal at the next gathering, and this will be deducted from their debt to you.
It may be awkward at first, but it will demonstrate your willingness to assist them, and they will feel better about paying off their debt. It is easier to be honest about money when you have a friendly relationship with the person.
This works because you get some or all of the money back and it serves as a reminder to them that they owe money! But, of course, always be polite about it - even if they owe you money, it's not nice to be aggressive.|

10. Request their assistance.
You were able to assist them when they needed it; now it's their turn to repay the favour.
If you needed the money for something, ask them to assist you by repaying the debt they owe. Always address what is owed in a friendly manner!
This may not always work, but at least you know you tried. Allow them to pay for the next round of drinks or food at a party. Even if they owe you money, always be courteous!
Allowing too much time to pass before they are paid back will make it awkward and frustrating to ask them for their debt.
If you're feeling a little more generous than usual and don't think the money is necessary, you could even ask for a non-monetary favour in exchange for the money!

11. Give them terms that are flexible.
Offer to repay the debt in instalments. This works because you provide the borrower with flexible payment terms and a timetable for when the debt will be completely paid off.
"Hey, if you need a little more time to repay the money I lent you, that's fine; when can we do this?"
You could also offer different payment terms in exchange for something else from them, so they don't feel like they're getting away with nothing while still providing value!
Offer an incentive; however, make sure it is not too large, or people will feel pressured to accept the deal and then never pay you back. For instance, "If you can pay off your debt by next month, I'll give you $100."
Before you do this, make sure there are other incentives (for example, allowing them to borrow again) because otherwise, people may just take the $100 and never pay you back.

12. Provide them with a variety of payment options.
You can also simply offer the borrower various payment options to assist them in repaying their debt. They will probably appreciate your willingness to accept payment if they are well aware that they owe you money.
Offer them the payment methods that work best for you, whether it's cash, bank transfer, or check, for example. Consider what they are comfortable with and how quickly they want their money.
When someone is well aware of their debt, offering different payment gateways is a great way to remind them that you are owed money.

13. If they refuse your terms, make it clear what will happen next.
It's important to let people know that if they don't follow through on their promise to repay you, there will be consequences for them. This could include cutting off all future lending, which would affect not only the person who owes money, but anyone else around them as well.
This is difficult because relationships are delicate, but it is sometimes necessary when someone forgets how much of an impact unpaid debts can have!
The borrower may require some time before being able to adhere to repayment plans or deadlines—remembering debt is difficult! Be adaptable by providing different payment terms if necessary.
If the borrower continues to refuse repayments, be clear with them about what will happen next, and see how they react!
However, don't rush into it. Allow them a chance to repay you before cutting all ties.
It's not ideal when people owe you money, but the longer you wait for them to pay you back, the more uncomfortable it will be!

Try to get the money back as soon as possible, and rest assured that doing so will keep a relationship intact - or even strengthen it!
Possible explanations for why someone hasn't paid you back.

Reluctance
Some people may refuse to repay you because they do not take your request seriously, or they believe that giving in will make them look bad in front of you. They could also be living quite comfortably off the money they owe you without ever repaying it.
If they refuse your terms, be clear about what will happen next. It's not ideal when people owe you money, but the longer you wait for them to pay you back, the more uncomfortable it will be!
Try to get the money back as soon as possible, and rest assured that doing so will keep the relationship intact.
Always address what is owed in a friendly manner! Allow them to cover the cost of the next round.

Not Ready to Surrender
Many people are not like this, but there are a few exceptions. This is not a quick process. Make sure you're polite when asking for your money back so they can pay you off without feeling awkward in the end.
Offer flexible terms, such as "If you can pay off your debt by next month, I'll give you $100."
Inform them that if they do not follow through on their promise to repay you, they will face consequences.
If they continue to refuse to make the repayment, explain why and ask them again a few days later.

Conclusion
Let's see how they react to that! However, don't rush into it. Allow them the opportunity to pay. Be open about how you feel when someone owes you money, but don't let emotion get in the way of your request.
Don't take it personally, but give them some time and space to decide what they want to do about their debt. Try not to be too optimistic about getting the money back, especially if that person realises how bad it is to have unpaid debts!
It is never easy to request repayment from someone. It's awkward because you're discussing money, which is a subject we usually avoid. However, when the time comes to politely remind them that they owe you money, go for it!